Minimize the Conflict for Your Children’s Wellbeing
October 06, 2022
Dealing with the dissolution of your marriage or long term relationship is difficult enough in and of itself, but when there are children involved, it becomes even trickier, as you always want what’s best for your child, and don’t want to cause them any further or unnecessary trauma. It’s extremely important to minimize your child’s exposure to parental discord. It’s best if they don’t witness any extreme conflict between their parents, nor should they be forced to pick sides or become a confidante. The impact on a child’s psyche from such things cannot only be utterly devastating, but can also result in lifelong trauma that affects every future relationship they have as an adult.
Research shows that children of divorce fare better if their parents limit the conflict associated with the divorce process. Conversely, children who experience high levels of parental conflict before and after the divorce are associated with poorer adjustment. Even if there isn’t a formal/ legal marriage certificate, as long as there are children involved, you and the child’s other parent are always going to be involved in each other’s lives for the sake of your child.
One way of helping to minimize the inevitable emotional distress for your child is to try and focus on the positive aspects that the impending divorce will result in. For example, when explaining the upcoming divorce to young children, telling them that their parents living in separate households means that they’ll get to celebrate special occasions like birthdays and holidays such as Christmas or Hanukkah twice - once with each parent. It also means that they’ll have two places to call home. For older children, you can explain that this will be a new beginning for both parents, and although it might take some time to adjust, eventually everyone will be much happier, and your child won’t have to deal with their parents being stressed, unhappy or fighting with each other.
The ability to file for divorce online is another tool that can help alleviate the stress and emotional damage for all involved. Handling a divorce online allows you and your family to focus your time and energy on healing yourselves both mentally and emotionally by greatly decreasing the time you have to spend in an attorney’s office, courtroom or other legal setting.